Sad...but VERY thankful!

Lately I have had a lot of things on my mind. I recently found this blog, (when I figure out how to link it I will) that makes me laugh, cry, smile, sob, and be truely, truely thankful for what I have. He is a single father, due to the fact that his wife died the DAY after she gave birth to their gorgeous daughter. His blog talks about everything that he is going through while in the process of healing from one of the most devastating things that could happen to a human being. At times it is very funny, and others very sad. But in the process of soaking it all in, I have realized that I have so much to be thankful for!

It is hard to realize that I take way too many things in my life for granted. While he is trying to deal with the unbearable heartbreak of loosing his spouse/best friend/mother of his daughter, I am here sitting on my couch with the most trivial concerns looming around my mind. When will my sister quit using/loosing all of my stuff?! When will I be tan enough to wear a brown dress?! Why cant I loose those ten "vanity" pounds? When will I be able to take my next vacation?! When will my boyfriend finally pop the question?!

As I sat here tonight, I realized that in the big scheme of things that none of those things mentioned above really matter whatsoever! I should not be annoyed my sister uses all my stuff, I should be thankful that I have her here in my life to annoy me everyday. And not just her, I also have my four other siblings, and very loving parents. A lot of people in this world do not have the "luxury" of being annoyed by their siblings stealing their stuff, and I have realized that is something that should never be taken for granted.

I find myself at least once a day asking myself this question: "When will Jared ask me to marry him?" then I usually roll my eyes and say, "never." (I know its bad) This is something that I am really really trying to work on. I should NOT be annoyed that we are not engaged yet, but should be very very thankful that he is in my life at all! Don't get me wrong he drives me nuts sometimes, but he is probably one of the best things that has happened to me in a long time. I find in Matt's blog he talks about memories that he had with his wife, that at the time he thought were so trivial and unimportant, but now that she is gone these are the moments that he wished he had stopped and enjoyed even if it was not something he particularly wanted to do. This really made me think. Instead of dreaming my future away, why not trying to enjoying every minute possible in the present that I have with Jared. Even though I have dreamed of the day of my engagement since I was a small girl, truth be told, I would wait til the end of time for him to pop the question as long as I got to be with him in the mean time.

In the blogworld, there are blogs filled with everything from sadness and desperation to happiness and pure bliss. But no matter what your circumstances are or hand that you are dealt in this big game of cards, we should all be thankful for what we have and who we have!